Job Posting: Donor Relations Associate – Bay Area

Job Title:

Donor Relations Associate – Bay Area, CA

Reports to:

Executive Director and Regional Director

Job Narrative

The main goals of the position are to a) serve as an assistant to the Executive Director or Director of Development and to work closely with Development Associate for the institution’s localized development strategy to help fund Khalil Center’s Bay Area programming, (b) populating and utilizing a donor database using software like FunRaise to drive and support donor engagement, provide updates, and garner solicitations for donor (online) campaigns (c) maintain contact in serving as a liaison between ED, Development Associate and key stakeholders and private grant givers to reinforce the financial sustainability of the institution.

Deliverables include (d) quarterly grant reports and updates to grant providers and major donors, (e) managing an annual fundraising events calendar, (e) populating the donor management system for local donations/donors.

Donor relations associate will work with a team including: (f) development associate (g) part-time community outreach coordinator in region, (g) a national events manager dedicating .25 PT to development activities, (h) a professional social media manager dedicating .25 PT to donor activities, (i) administrative managers and assistants, (j) a pool of repeat volunteers, (k) a robust donor management system platform and (l) robust lists of existing donors and potential donors.

Working conditions

Though this position will require some travel within the locality where employee is based and nationally, the employee will have office hours out of Union City, CA office. The employee may need to leave the office frequently for meetings and events. Additionally, the employee will keep regular contact with Executive Director (“ED”) and Development associate, informing them of activities and progress. The Executive Director and Board have developed a successful fundraising strategy and will welcome revisions based on the ability and commitment of the new hire. This role requires availability to work 10-15 hours a week. Hours of work are flexible and can be arranged before hire. One Sunday a month, all staff are expected to attend staff meetings in the late morning (1-2 hours) (can attend online). If required to travel outside of Bay Area, the employee will accrue overtime hours which can be applied paid time-off the week following the week of travels.

This roles operates in a professional office environment, routinely using standard office equipment such as computers, phones, photocopiers, filing cabinets and fax machines.

Qualifications & Requirements

a. Minimum of Bachelor’s degree in Marketing, not-for-profit management, fundraising or a related degree. Graduate degree preferred.

b. Knowledge of and experience with fundraising techniques, particularly major gift fundraising, and familiarity with donor management software.

c. Desire to get out of the office and build external relationships, good interpersonal and communication skills.

d. Ability to do public speaking about our organization.

e. Well organized, disciplined and manage multiple tasks considering order of priority.

 f. Some familiarity with the field of mental health, working with the Muslim community and Islamic studies preferred.

 g. Demonstrate a willingness to learn and identify with our mission & vision.

h. Ability to work independently with little supervision. 


This will be a contractual position with a compensation of $15/hr for 10-15 hours per week.

How to Apply

Please email your resume/CV and Cover Letter to  Applications without Cover Letters will not be accepted.  

Khalil Center Canada Featured in the “Globe & Mail”.

See the below link to find the article that featured Khalil Center’s groundbreaking work in Canada and US.

Social Media Intern – Wanted

Social Media Intern

Company Description:

The Khalil Center is a qualified 501(c)(3) not-for-profit spiritual wellness center advancing the practice of professional psychology rooted in Islamic principles. Using a holistic approach, our clinic aims to integrate cultural and spiritual competence in traditional psychological methodology. We are working to combat the stigmas surrounding mental health with an approach that both acknowledges and incorporates an individual’s own cultural and religious background when designing their treatment plan. Our staff hopes to embody the meaning of the word Khalil (a very close and dear companion) to each client, and believe that it is our duty to show concern, intervene, empathize and safeguard the individuals in our community from suffering through deep compassion.

Internship Purpose:

We are looking for a volunteer intern who can reliably support us in cultivating our social media presence. This intern will be responsible for producing and sharing content that is relevant to our space and the services we provide across a variety of platforms. This intern will have the opportunity to work for both the Khalil Center and the Muslims and Mental Health Lab at Stanford University.

Duties and Responsibilities:

Our social media intern will be responsible of

  • Representing both organizations as psychological and spiritual wellness initiatives that are rooted in the classical Islamic tradition
  • Sharing relevant content across social media channels that align with the messaging and values of each organization
  • Abiding by the Social Media guidelines for each organization
  • Occasionally creating graphics to publicize each center and its events and services
  • Engaging with each social media audience in order to network or build community between the staff and interested parties
  • Collaborating with the Office Manager, Outreach Coordinator, Clinical Director, or other relevant staff members regarding event promotion
  • Maintaining a professional demeanor while representing each organization at different outreach engagements
  • Corresponding with relevant staff members to obtain photography and information regarding special events, as needed for social media publications.
  • Assisting in other office management type tasks as needed

Qualifications and Skills:

The ideal intern

  • Has an understanding of the Bay Area Muslim community and general Islamic etiquettes, customs, and practices
  • Has an interest in mental health advocacy and learning more about our approach to counseling and psychotherapy
  • Is detail oriented and has impeccable written communication skills
  • Is able to handle multiple projects simultaneously
  • Thrives while working independently or with a team
  • Has previous marketing or public relations experience
  • Has ideas for future marketing strategies and how to get the community more actively involved
  • Is an experienced and active social media user, specifically in regards to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

Preferred Qualifications:

  • Is proficient in graphic design and knows their way around Adobe Illustrator, InDesign, or Photoshop
  • Is comfortable with a camera and capable of taking clear and captivating photographs of different events and outreach engagements

Time commitment:

  • An average of 15-20 hours of volunteer work per week, with some weeks requiring more time than others, e.g. for photography and marketing of special events such as seminars, open houses, or fundraisers
  • Hours will be flexible and will vary week by week based on organization’s social media needs
  • Social Media Intern may perform duties off-site from home, and will attend Khalil Center events or meetings in person as needed


  • Please note that this is an unpaid 12 month internship. Interns will be compensated through hands-on experience in a professional, clinical setting.
  • The Khalil Center is open to supervising this intern for academic units in a college or school setting, if applicable.
  • If possible, interns will be invited to attend Khalil Center trainings, seminars or workshops free of charge for their own learning and benefit

Resume and cover letter should be sent to both Dr. Rania Awaad and our Office Manager, Anum Ahmed, at and

Job Posting: Mental Health Therapist (Bay Area)

Job title Mental Health Therapist / Clinician
Reports to Clinical Director (Bay Area)
Application Date Open: Nov 27/2017
Closes: Until Filled

Job purpose

The contractor shall work in the capacity of a mental health therapist offering clinical and preventative intervention services to a predominantly Muslim population, designed to alleviate psychological distress and produce resiliency.

Duties and responsibilities

The contractor shall work in the capacity of a therapist and educator, the current duties and responsibilities of which are outlined below.  These duties and responsibilities may be amended from time to time as deemed necessary by KHALIL FOUNDATION or requested by Therapist subject to a formal notification/arrangement.  The contractor will:

  • Provide individual, family, couples, and/or group psychotherapy to a predominantly Muslim population
  • Provide psychological evaluations and counseling in K-12 school or university-based settings, wherein Khalil Foundation engages in a contract with such educational institutions to a minimum of 4 hours a week and a maximum of 20 hours, or as desired by the contractor.
  • Attend bi-monthly Islamic Psycho-therapy didactic trainings and staff meeting at Union City headquarters office, roughly every other Sunday from 8am – 11am. Meeting schedule will be provided in advance.
  • If applicable, attend weekly clinical supervision meetings provided by Khalil Foundation.
  • Present at occasional speaking engagements, trainings, seminars or workshops, at a maximum of once monthly.
  • If desired, offer and develop programming for the organization, for example support groups, seminars, and presentations
  • Provide a brief monthly report on work duties and current caseload, with any suggestions for the improvement of services both organizationally and for individual service providers
  • Complete all administrative forms and tasks related to the role of being a mental health therapist at Khalil Foundation, including participating in a brief, weekly individual meeting on billing and administrative updates with Office Manager
  • Have an interest and knowledge of the organizational happenings of KHALIL FOUNDATION, due to possible organizational situations that may cause a shift in routine business or organizational growth.
  • Adhere to the Islamic religious rules and laws that pertain to his/her profession as a Muslim professional. As a professional and member of the KHALIL FOUNDATION team of service providers, the contractor must conduct him or herself in a manner that is congruent with Islamic character etiquettes and expectations as a professional and outlined within the staff handbook.

Preferred Qualifications

  • Doctorate-level therapist or Master’s in Clinical Psychology or Counseling
  • Licensed in the State of California, or registered as an intern/associate with the appropriate State Board
  • Experience conducting psychological evaluations with adolescents to young adults
  • Language capacities in: Arabic, Tigrinya, Farsi, Urdu, Hindi, Punjabi, Bangla, and other languages of traditionally Islamic countries

Basic Requirements

  • Master’s Degree in a mental health field (MSW, MFT, LPCC, etc)
  • Licensed in the State of California, or registered as an intern/associate with the appropriate State Board
  • Familiarity with Islamic theology, customs, rituals and rules
  • Excellent written and verbal communication skills

Working conditions

  • Minimum 20 hours a week, spread over 3-4 days in the week
  • Therapist’s work location(s) will be determined based on agency need, with attention given to therapist preference if possible (potential locations: Union City, Santa Clara, Pleasanton)
  • Required bi-monthly didactic trainings held on Sundays will be at Union City headquarters office
  • Shared administrative office in designated work location
  • Routinely use standard office equipment such as computers, phones, photocopiers & filing cabinets


  • Hourly rate $30-65/hr based upon degree, licensure and experience
  • No benefits offered currently, due to part-time contractual nature of the position
  • This business relationship is that of an independent contractor, there is no entitlement to benefits such as health insurance, life insurance, retirement, or unemployment insurance


Please send CV/Resume with a Cover letter to  Applications without a cover letter will NOT be accepted.

Recommended Reading List for Islamically Integrated Psychology

Recommended Reading List for Islamically Integrated Psychology

Books on Traditional Islamic Psychology from Islamic tradition

  • Al-Razi, A. (2007). Razi’s Traditional Psychology (A.J. Arberry Trans.). Kazi Publications Inc.
  • Al-Balkhi, A. (2013). Abu Zayd Al-Balkhi’s Sustenance of the Soul: The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy of a Ninth Century Physician (M. Badri Trans.). Malaysia: International Institute of Islamic Thought.
  • Mishkawayh, A. (2003). Refinement of Character (C.K. Zurayk Trans.). Kazi Publications Inc.
  • Ghazali, A. (2014). Mukhtasar Ihya Ulum Ad-Din. (M. Khalaf Trans.). Lypia/Nikosia, Cyprus: Spohr Publishers.
  • Birgivi, I. (2005). The Path of Muhammad: A Book on Islamic Morals and Ethics. (S.T. Bayrak Trans.). Bloomington, Indiana: World Wisdom.
  • Khan, I.M. (2005). The Path to Perfection. Santa Barbara, California: White Thread Press.
  • Al-Qayyim, I. (2013). Trials and Tribulations. Birmingham, United Kingdom: Daar us-Sunnah Publishers.
  • Al-Qayyim, I. (1990). The Soul’s Journey After Death. (L. Mabrouk Trans.) London, United Kingdom: Dar Al-Taqwa Publishers
  • Waliullah, S. (2005). Hujjat Allah Al-Baligha. (M.K Hermansen Trans.). Delhi, India: Kitab Bhavan Publishers
  • Abdus-Salam, I. (2004). Trials and Tribulations: Wisdom and Benefits. Birmingham, United Kingdom: Daar us-Sunnah Publishers

Books on Islamic Psychology from an Academic Perspective

  • Utz, A. (2011). Psychology from the Islamic perspective. Riyadh, Saudi Arabia: International Islamic Publishing House.
  • Haque, A., & Mohamed, Y. (Eds.). (2009). Psychology of personality: Islamic perspectives. Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: Cengage Learning Asia.
  • Badri, M. (1979). The dilemma of Muslim psychologists. London: MWH London Pub- lishers.
  • Badri, M. (2000). Contemplation. Richmond, VA: Institute of Islamic Thought
  • Badri, M. (2013). Translation and annotation of Abu Zayd al-Balkhi’s Sustenance of the Soul. Richmond, VA: International Institute of Islamic Thought.
  • Rajab, A. (2015). The Medieval Islamic Hospital: Medicine, Religion and Charity. Cambridge, United Kingdom: Cambridge University Press
  • Koenig, H.G., & Al-Shohaib, S., (2014) Health and Well-being in Islamic Societies: Background, Research and Applications.New York City, NY: Springer Publishing Company
  • Pargament, K. I. (2007). Spiritually integrated psychotherapy: Understanding and addressing the sacred. New York, NY: Guilford Press.
  • Pargament, K. I. (1997). The psychology of religion and coping: Theory, research, practice. New York, NY: Guilford Press.
  • Frager, R. (1999). Heart, self, & soul. Wheaton, IL: Theosophical Publishing.
  • Chishti, H.G.M. (1985). The Book of Sufi Healing. Rochester, Vermont: Inner Traditions and Bear Company
  • Chaleby, K. (2001).  Forensic Psychiatry in Islamic Jurisprudence. Herndon, VA: The International Institute of Islamic Thought.
  • Rasool, G. (2015). Islamic Counselling: An Introduction to Theory and Practice. New York, NY: Routledge
  • Richards, P. S., & Bergin, A. E. (2004). Casebook for a spiritual strategy in counseling and psychotherapy. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
  • Richards, P. S., & Bergin, A. E. (2005). A spiritual strategy for counseling and psychotherapy (2nd ed.). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
  • Kobeisy, A. N. (2004). Counseling American Muslims: Understanding the Faith and Helping the People. Westport, CT: Praeger Publisher
  • Usmani, M. T. (2001). Spiritual discourses. Karachi, Pakistan: Darul Ishat.
  • Pargament, K. I. (1997). The psychology of religion and coping. New York, NY: Guilford.
  • Al-Issa (Ed.), Al-Junun: Mental illness in the Islamic world (pp. 277–293). Madison, CT: International Universities Press.
  • Ahmed, S., & Amer, M. M. (2012). Counseling Muslims: Handbook of Mental Health Issues and Interventions. New York, NY: Routledge.
  • Ansari, S. T. (2007). Alternative healing: The Sufi way. New York: Ansari.
  • Ciarrocchi, J.W., Koenig, H.G., Pearce, M.J., Schechter, D., & Vasegh, S. (2014). Religious Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (Muslim Version): 10 Session Treatment Manual for Depression in Clients with Chronic Physical Illness. Tehran, Iran: Shahid Beheshti University of Medical Sciences

Contemporary Arabic Books focused on Islamic Psychology

  • al-Mahazaa, K.A.R. (2013) Ahkam Mareed al-nafs fi fiqh al-Islamiyyah.  Dar al-Samiya
  • Ibn Awf, A., Ibn Awf, A. (2016). Al-ahkam al-fiqhiyyah l-il-amrad al-nafsiyyah wa turuqu elajiha.  Wizarat al-awqaafi wa al-shu’uni al-Islamiyyah: Dawlat al-Qatar.
  • Saeed, R., al-Thuhuri, A.  (2017). Al-Wiqayatu min al-Dughuti wa al-amradi al-nafsiyyah fi Sunnah al-nabawiyyah.  Dar al-Samiya.

Academic Articles on Islamic Psychology

  • Abu-Raiya, H. (2015). Working with religious Muslim clients: A dynamic, Quranic- based model of psychotherapy. Spirituality in Clinical Practice, 2(2), 120-133.
  • Abu-Raiya, H., & Pargament, K. I. (2010). Religiously integrated psychotherapy with Muslim clients: From research to practice. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 41(2), 181-188.
  • Abu-Raiya, H., Pargament, K. I., Mahoney, A., & Stein, C. (2008). A psychological measure of Islamic religiousness: Development and evidence for reliability and validity. International Journal for the Psychology of Religion, 18(4), 291-315. http://
  • Ali, B. & Keshavarzi, H. (2016). Forensic Psychology in Islamic Jurisprudence. Oxford Encyclopedia of Islamic Bioethics.Al-Radi, O., & Mahdy, M. A. (1994). Group therapy: An Islamic approach. Integrative Psychiatry, 10, 106–109.
  • Awaad, R., & Ali, S. (2015). Obsessional disorders in al-Balkhi’s 9th century treatise: Sustenance of the body and soul. Journal of Affective Disorders, 180, 185-189.
  • Campbell, D. T. (1975). On the conflicts between biological and social evolution and between psychology and moral tradition. American Psychologist, 30, 1103-1126.
  • Ghorbani, N., Watson, P. J., Geranmayepour, S., & Chen, Z. (2014). Measuring Muslim spirituality: Relationships of Muslim experiential religiousness with religious and psychological adjustment in Iran. Journal of Muslim Mental Health, 8(1), 77-94.
  • Hamdan, A. (2008). Cognitive restructuring: An Islamic perspective. Journal of Muslim Mental Health, 3(1), 99-116.
  • Haque, A. (1997). National seminar on islamization of psychology: Seminar report. Intellectual Discourse, 5(1), 88-92.
  • Haque, A. (2004). Psychology from Islamic perspective: Contributions of early Muslim scholars and challenges to contemporary Muslim psychologists. Journal of Religion & Health, 43(4), 357-377.
  • Haque, A. Khan, F., Keshavarzi, H. & Rothman, A. (2016). Integrating Islamic Traditions in Modern Psychology: Research Trends in Last Ten Years. Journal of Muslim Mental Health, 10 (1), 75-100.
  • Haque, A., & Keshavarzi, H. (2012). Integrating indigenous healing methods in therapy: Muslim beliefs and practices. International Journal of Culture and Mental Health, 7(3), 297-314.
  • Hermansen, M. K. (1982). Shah Wali Allah’s arrangement of the subtle spiritual centers. Studies in Islam, 137-150.
  • Hodge, D. R. (2005). Social work and the house of Islam: Orienting practitioners to the beliefs and values of Muslims in the United States. Social Work, 50, 162–173.
  • Hodge, D. R., & Nadir, A. (2008). Moving toward culturally competent practice with Muslims: Modifying cognitive therapy with Islamic tenets. Social Work, 53, 31–41.
  • Hook, J. N., Worthington, E. L., Jr., Davis, D. E., Jennings, D. J., Gartner, A. L., & Hook, J. P. (2010). Empirically supported religious and spiritual therapies. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 66, 46–72.
  • Keshavarzi, H & Ali, B (2018). Islamic Perspectives on Psychological and Spiritual Well-being and Treatment, in H. S. Moffic,, J. Peteet, A. Hankir, R. Awaad, Islamophobia & Psychiatry: Recognition, Prevention, and Treatment (in press).
  • Keshavarzi, H. & Ali, B. (2018). Exploring the role of mental status & expert testimony in the Islamic Judicial process In A. Padela, Doctors & Jurists in Dialogue: Constructing the Field of Islamic Bioethics. In press.
Keshavarzi, H. & Khan, F. (2018). Outlining a case illustration of Islamically Integrated Psychotherapy In C. York al-Karam, Islamically Integrated
  • Keshavarzi, H., & Haque, A. (2013). Outlining a psychotherapy model for enhancing Muslim mental health within an Islamic context. International Journal for the Psychology of Religion, 23(3), 230-249. 712000
  • Khalily, M. T. (2012). Schema perpetuation and schema healing: A case vignette for schema focused therapy in Islamic perspective. Islamic Studies, 51(3), 327-336.
  • Khalily, M. T. (2012). Schema perpetuation and schema healing: A case vignette for schema focused therapy in Islamic perspective. Islamic Studies, 51(3), 327-336.
  • Kiymaz, S. (2002). Sufi treatment methods and philosophy behind it. Journal of the International Society for the History of Islamic Medicine, 1(2), 10􏰀16.
  • McCullough, M. E. (1999). Research on religion-accommodative counseling: Review and meta- analysis. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 46, 92-98.
  • McMinn, M. R., Chaddock, T. P., Edwards, L. C., Lim, B. R. K. B., & Campbell, C. D. (1998). Psychologists collaborating with clergy. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 29, 564-570.
  • Oppenheimer, J. E., Flannelly, K. J., & Weaver, A. J. (2004). A comparative analysis of the psychological literature on collaboration between clergy and mental-health professionals—perspectives from secular and religious journals: 1970-1999. Pastoral Psychology, 53, 153-162.
  • Pargament, K. I. (1999). The psychology of religion and spirituality? Yes and no. International Journal for the Psychology of Religion, 9, 3-16.
  • Richards, P. S., & Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2010). The need for evidence-based, spiritually oriented psychotherapies. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 41, 363- 370
  • Richards, P. S, Sanders, P. W., Lea, T., McBride, J. A., & Allen, G. E. K. (2015). Bringing spiritually oriented psychotherapies into the health care mainstream: A call for worldwide collaboration. Spirituality in Clinical Practice, 2(3), 169-179. DOI: 10.1037/scp0000082
  • Sanders, P. W., Richards, P. S., McBride, J. A., Lea, T., Hardman, R. K., & Barnes, D. V. (2015). Processes and outcomes of theistic spiritually oriented psychotherapy: A practice-based evidence investigation. Spirituality in Clinical Practice, 2(3), 180-190. DOI: 10.1037/scp0000083
  • Worthington, E. L., Jr., Kurusu, T. A., McCullough, M. E., & Sandage, S. J. (1996). Empirical research on religion and psychotherapeutic processes and outcomes: A 10- year review and research prospectus. Psychological Bulletin, 119, 448-487. http://
  • Worthington, E. L., Jr., & Sandage, S. J. (2001). Religion and spirituality. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 38, 473-478. 3204.38.4.47
  • Yucel, S. (2009). Concept of shifa, healing, in the Qur’an and sunnah. Akademik Arastirmalar dergisi, 40, 225–235.

The Four Benefits of Cultivating Self-Awareness

By Sister Heba el-Haddad

‘Al-Dunya’ is an Arabic word that is very frequently used to describe the temporal world that hosts our lives here on earth. Upon taking a closer look, the word dunya stems from the root word  دنو  d-w-n or  دني d-n-y, which means ‘the nearer’ or ‘the lower.’  This word has been mentioned in the Qur’an as ‘Al-hayaat al dunya’ because it is ‘nearer’ to us than the akhirah (the afterlife); it is our current existence, and that which we are most familiar with. However, it is also lowly in nature, greatly superficial in comparison to the life of the hereafter and is a place that contains all objects of desire for the human nafs or carnal soul.  Essentially, Al-Dunya is a mere transition to the afterlife that is both fleeting and knows neither stability nor permanence. The human soul temporarily resides in this world, which aims to test us by the constant bombardment of messages about who we should be, what we should look like, and the manner in which we should live. As a result, it becomes crucial to re-assess who we are and what we desire out of life to maintain a clear direction and focus on that which truly matters.

The question of who we are can cover such a broad category of facts, as each individual is deeply unique, beautiful in their natural state and flawed in equally varying ways. There are no two individuals that look exactly alike, and each person lives in a way that is unique to them according to their own upbringing, faith, knowledge, culture and life experiences. Living in such a vast world that tends to pull one in many competing directions and presents many temptations for the nafs, it becomes incumbent to cultivate a level of self-awareness for the sake of one’s emotional health and spiritual survival.  We’re all composed of countless layers of the self, and by increasing our level of self-awareness, we progress in our journey of understanding why we behave the way we do and what drives our fears, hopes and motivations. Mentioned in this article are four benefits of cultivating self-awareness which are: knowing ourselves in order to better know Allah, self-awareness strengthens our resilience, the relationship between self-awareness and humility and self-awareness in relation to habit formation.

  1. Know Yourself So That You May Come to Know Allah (swt)

    It is stated in Islamic tradition: ‘Whosoever knows himself knows his Lord.”

This hadith implies that gaining knowledge about oneself leads to knowledge about Allah (swt). But how are these two types of knowledge connected? By studying ourselves, our abilities, the way in which our bodies function and the manner in which we are molded and designed, this knowledge combined redirects our attention back to the existence of a supreme Creator: The Fashioner, The Originator, and The Giver of Life. By coming to terms with our weaknesses as fallible beings, we realize the need for reliance on The Most Strong, The Omnipotent The Able. By being aware of our weaknesses, we can work on them in order to gain closeness to Allah (swt) and avoid incurring sins as a result of that awareness. An example of how knowledge of our weaknesses can help us do just that is an individual who is aware of their weakness to temptations of the use of substances. Avoiding friends who use substances and encourage it and places which may trigger that temptation can help strengthen one’s resolve and ability to abstain from it altogether. Similarly, by being aware of our strengths we can capitalize on them and use them in order to positively impact our surroundings and loved ones and gain closeness to Allah (swt) and His pleasure. An individual who is very tech savvy and is skilled in creating apps decides to create an app to help blind individuals connect with someone who is blessed with the gift of sight through the use of video chat to help guide them around their homes and assist them with small day-to-day tasks. Through the culmination of knowledge of our weaknesses and strengths, it becomes increasingly evident that in no way shape or form did we have anything to do with our own creation. All signs embedded within ourselves and in our surroundings redirect us back to a higher supreme being whose existence is undeniable.

  1. Self-Awareness strengthens The Muscle of Resiliency

On average, human beings have approximately 60,000 thoughts per day, which translates to one thought per second! The large majority of these thoughts are the same ones on replay in our minds each day and a whopping 80 percent of those thoughts are negative in nature. Due to the brain being inclined to focus more attention on the negative experiences or circumstances in life, a term that is often referred to as negative attribution bias, during your toughest and darkest moments, your mind will do an amazing job of convincing you of a multitude of things. You may repeatedly have thoughts that tell you that you aren’t good enough to succeed in your business endeavors, that you’re not worthy of a good spouse, that you’ll never reach your weight loss goal and that you’re a horrible parent, and the list is endless. You may start to firmly believe that you’re weak and incapable of fulfilling your lifelong dreams and aspirations and you may even be fooled into thinking that your thoughts are concrete facts. Thoughts surface from many different sources including but not limited to what we repeatedly have been exposed to: people, upbringing, books, faith, social media, movies, or music. Regardless of how firmly rooted these ‘facts’ become in your mind, with some deep analysis of your past, you’ll realize that the only real facts that are worthy of your attention are that you’ve survived greater struggles, endured greater pain and became progressively resilient as a result. Having a great propensity towards being forgetful, a lack of self-awareness may inadvertently lead us to lose sight of all the internal battles we’ve won irrespective of how small and how much progress we’ve made in our respective journeys.  Self-awareness will engender a greater degree of accurate self-perception and reflection which leads to better accountability (muhasabah) and which can allow you to conquer the mind’s inclination to focus on the negative. Perhaps nothing is more empowering than knowing that you don’t have to believe every thought that crosses your mind; that your thoughts aren’t facts; and that by questioning your thoughts, you can essentially revolutionize the entire process of how you think. Every thought is not automatically worthy of being entertained and you can practice mindfulness in regards to which thoughts you feed and respond to, for they will be the ones that have power over you.

  1. The Relationship Between Self-Awareness & Humility

Although we have a negative attribution bias, we also have what may seem to be a contradictory tendency known as a self-serving bias. The self-serving bias is a tendency to perceive ourselves in an overly favorable way and is ultimately designed to protect our self-esteem. In order to guide ourselves to a more accurate form of self-awareness, it’s essential to balance our lowliness and fallibility with our potential for greatness. Those who are in touch with both ends of this spectrum and balance them well are often identified as confident yet humble individuals due to not losing sight of both sides. Contributing to our potential greatness, humans enjoy complex cognitive faculties, free will, and language and comprehension abilities to name just a few. These combined abilities contributed to the emergence of many extraordinary inventions, innovative discoveries and incredible achievements which can pave the way to a state of delusion and loss of touch with our own fallibility. Cultivating self-awareness teaches that, similar to Newton’s law of gravity, what goes up in life must eventually come down.  Allah (swt) states in the Qur’an a similar concept reflected in this verse “…for man was created weak”[4:28]. At times, we can feel great surges of strength and soar in life and shortly thereafter encounter crashing moments of despair. We live in a world of contrasts. We have strengths as well as weaknesses- some strengths are present from birth and others are acquired through hard work and practice. Some weaknesses are beyond our control and some harmful practices or habits that we adopt and engage in by choice render us weaker as a result. We’re unable to fully understand happiness until we’ve known sadness and we can’t fully appreciate ease until we’ve experienced hardship. It’s these contrasting experiences that teach us the beautiful concept of humility; and within the depths of humility one can feel a greater connection and closeness to The Creator. Despite the many advantages of humility, this virtue isn’t always viewed as a strength depending on the context it’s framed in.

Humility in relation to the field of leadership, for example, is often perceived as a form of weakness; especially in a competitive cut throat culture where over confidence and power are glorified and frequently rewarded.  In an article by Morris, Brotheridge & Urbanski (2005), leaders who embodied high levels of humility were found to have higher levels of self-awareness, openness and transcendence: the three dimensions of humility identified by the authors. Leaders with high levels of humility had a higher probability of forming supportive relationships with their employees, presented a socialized power motivation, and had the overall greater good of the company in mind which led them to thrive collectively. A research study by Collins (2001) provided evidence for the importance of humility in leadership.  Collins discovered that Level 5 leadership led companies had continuously high performance; meaning that these leaders had a combination of humility and strong personal will. The tide of leadership is slowly turning due to researchers shedding light on the great benefits humility stemming from leadership brings to the workplace.

  1. Out With The Old, In With The New

It’s an unquestionable fact that we are creatures of habit. Habits are formed through repetition and become so familiar to us that we begin to perform them automatically, without much effort or thought. The more we practice or do something, the more engrained the neural pathways in the brain become. When our habits become so deeply engrained, we become less aware of them to the point where if a friend or loved one were to point them out to us, it may take us by surprise. The habits that we are unaware of are more harmful due to us being oblivious to their impact in our lives or to their impact on others. As difficult as it may be to admit, most of us have at least one bad habit that we dislike about ourselves and wish we could change. But you may tell yourself ‘it’s easier said than done.’ Whether your habit is being chronically late, smoking, being a perfectionist or impulsively overspending; surprisingly, every bad habit serves a purpose in our lives. It may be that certain habits were formed as a result of deeply rooted issues such as resentment towards someone or something, a long history of exposure to trauma, or underlying depression. For example, someone who often struggles with controlling their anger could have assumed the role of caretaker for an elderly loved one for so long and has been in the mode of giving to the point of burnout that any small mishap or problem sets them off. At times, bad habits can help us cope with overwhelming levels of stress, avoiding uncomfortable situations or to merely pass time.  But what makes a habit bad for us? A habit crosses the red line from good to doubtful or bad when it disrupts our daily productivity, robs us of precious time or threatens our emotional, physical and psychological well being. To learn how to replace bad habits with new ones by forming new neural pathways in the brain through a cool process known as neuroplasticity, one must first understand the role that awareness plays in the larger picture. To discern a good habit from the bad, a level of self-awareness and introspection is necessary. Reflection leads to a heightened sense of self-awareness. Self-awareness in turn helps us to decipher bad habits that previously led to patterns of dysfunction, the role these habits played in our lives and how to better replace them with new positive habits. For example, do you dislike your habit of consistently focusing on the negative aspects of your past despite the presence of many positive ones that you should be grateful for? First, try to understand why you’re mentally holding onto these negative thoughts and experiences, and the purpose they serve you. Once you understand why it is you do what you do, it becomes easier to envision being positive and how reflecting on these positive experiences makes you feel. Make it a daily practice to go through this envisioning process. Select your thoughts carefully as you would select your best outfits daily and make it a habit to only focus on the positive aspects of each day. What you choose to focus on is what will grow in your mind. Be mindful of what you pay attention to as it will consume you and manifest in various ways through your actions and life overall.

A ninth century Muslim physician known as Abu Zayd Al-Balkhi often discussed the nature of this life and how it is a home for anxiety, trials, worry and sadness. He highlighted the importance of focusing on positive thoughts in his works and practice; the types of thoughts that are the opposite of those that sustain the psychological disturbance and the importance of making the realization that whatever afflicts the soul could have been worse in nature. By using this train of thought, one can cultivate gratefulness for their current state and develop enough strength to avoid falling into hopelessness and defeat. The concept that our thoughts lead to our emotional states and later influence our actions is as old as Greek philosophy, however, it was Al-Balkhi who developed this concept into cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which is a form of psychotherapy used regularly by psychologists today. It may come as a surprise to many that it took western psychologists close to an entire century to arrive at this approach that Al-Balkhi arrived at in the ninth century! Al-Balkhi also mentions the concept of being self-aware in order to know what one should avoid and what one’s soul can bear. Self-awareness is the first step in ridding oneself of old habits and facilitating the formation of new habits. You can’t change that which you’re not aware of.  And you can’t become a better person without learning from your past behaviors, mistakes, and the present habits that comprise your character.

Al-Balkhi along with tenth century physician Abu Bakr Al-Razi and 11th century scholar Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali all spoke about the importance of seeking out the counsel of a wise person (hakim) in the form of a discussion or counseling in an effort to neutralize problematic habits or to change one’s thoughts and behaviors to the better. Al-Balkhi in specific made mention of this practical approach in his manuscript ‘Sustenance of the Soul’ where he described the importance of having an advisor to oversee one’s actions, to go hand in hand with the internal self-treatment approach which in this case is the positive envisioning process referred to earlier. We may not always be aware of the detrimental habits we adopt as we are unable to see ourselves from an outsider’s perspective and having an advisor or a friend oversee us can help in changing unfavorable habits significantly by merely allowing someone to bring them to our level of consciousness. Seeking therapy can also help in reforming our inner selves and most stubborn habits and can increase one’s quality of life and level of happiness. True contentment lies in gaining knowledge to enlighten our minds and hearts, and the most beneficial form of knowledge originates from knowing oneself.

“Who looks outside, dreams; Who looks inside, awakens” — Carl Jung


Al-Balkhi, A. (2013). Sustenance of the Soul: The Cognitive Behavior Therapy of a Ninth Century Physician. London: The International Institute of Islamic Thought.

Collins, J. (2001). Good to great: Why some companies make the leap and others don’t. New York: Harper Business.

Morris, J. A., Brotheridge, C., & Urbanski, J. C. (2005). Bringing humility to leadership: Antecedents and consequences of leader humility. Human Relations, 58(10), 1323-1350.

Feeling Overwhelmed with Multiple Demands? Read this….

By Ahmad Jabir Tarin

Throughout life human beings face an array of challenges ranging from family, work, social, spiritual-religious, and other interpersonal stressors. In the midst of the intensity of those challenges a feeling of hopelessness can emerge for many of us. Hopelessness can be described as the overwhelming feeling of dread, gloom and doom where individuals may not see any light at the end of the tunnel to their suffering. This can be exacerbated by stress, defined as: the discrepancy between perceived available resources and the environmental demands placed on an individual.  In other words, when people feel they don’t have enough resources to deal with their demands. This ongoing feeling of inadequacy in meeting such demands can breed pessimism about the ending of their suffering/stress.  Sometimes it can be accompanied by a sense of desperation.

A common experience of hopelessness can occur when responsibilities begins to pile up leading to a feeling of being overwhelmed/over-exertion or simply fatigue. Stress is designed to be a short term experiential feeling of hypervigilence that is functionally designed to help us increase our level of energy (i.e. increasing more resources) to meet our demands.  However, when it continues for a long period of time, it simply produces exhaustion and can lead to many adverse health problems.  According to research done by Professor Liisa Terrill, she found that background stress i.e., more than 2 demanding tasks such as being a stay at home mother, a student, or employed at the same time significantly increases stress levels for women which could lead to a higher risk for coronary heart disease. For many, it can feel like your psychological resources have been exhausted and you are running out of steam.  This can lead to a desire to want to give up and just let it all slip out of our hands. Feeling that you are stuck in an inescapable situation whereby investing in one area causes other demands to continue to be unmet and your inability to effectively and efficiently multitask all items continuously.

Consider, the sense of personal inadequacy and disappointment one can feel if they always feel like they are never able to keep up.  In fact, according to Steeg et al., in a recent journal published in 2015 in the Journal of Affective Disorders, the researchers found that hopelessness is the most commonly diagnosed mental health disorder leading up to self harm (neglecting self-care due to burnout). It is evident by this that psychological research finds that individuals experiencing emotions of hopelessness have a higher risk of inflicting harm on themselves or those around them, simply looking for an escape to life’s problems.  Most forms of hopelessness can be common and impact us psychologically, but if you start to notice the following signs (clinical), then it might be wise to seek assistance through therapy: trouble sleeping, feeling sad/depressed all the time, no enjoyment, losing interest, lack of hygiene, feeling trapped, despair, or excessive guilt.  As Steeg et al., concluded that the best initiative for caring for individuals with hopeless behavior is therapeutic intervention.

However, for most of us it may never get to that clinical threshold, so here are some therapeutic strategies one can take to overcome this through Spiritual Coping.

A form of coping that can be integrated is Spiritual Coping.  From amongst the many Prophetic discussions in the Islamic tradition, is hopelessness. In fact, consider that anxiety or stress usually centers around the FEAR of what might happen in the future.  That is, if I do not clean up my act or meet the demands of my environment then what will happen?  Usually we have many concerning thoughts/cognitions that accompany this, keep us up at night.  Such as the possibility of not being able to meet our finances, not finishing school, disappointing family members, and the list can go on and on.  One therapeutic tactic is to consider WHAT IF.  That is, SO what if I do not meet a particular demand?  Will it truly be the end of the world?  This cognitive exercise can be combined with, a verse in the Quran regarding an incident of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (s) and his noble companion Abu Bakr (r) taking shelter in a cave, fleeing from prosecution. In this verse, Allah (s) narrates the response of the Holy Prophet (s), “…Do not be sad, for indeed Allah is with us!” We can understand that there is solace in recognizing that you’re really not alone. There comes a feeling of encouragement and strength that is attained from knowing that Allah provides a way out of the most difficult situations.  This verse also goes to show that at some point the noble companion Abu Bakr (r) had a fear of feeling hopeless in a seemingly difficult situation i.e., being persecuted, but the Holy Prophet’s (s) honored words and presence gave him contentment and ease of mind to know that Allah will protect and care for us.  The reminder comes to help us DE-catastrophize the REAL possibility of what might occur, as we tend to over-exaggerate the negative implications of most events.  This creates a vicious cycle which leads to over-escalation and catastrophizing.

If we take a deeper look at our own lives and the way we perceive things, we can take a step back and focus on our thoughts. We could ask ourselves if we’re approaching the scenario in the right way? Perhaps I am being ineffective in my approach.  This kind of reflection is adaptive or in other words USEFUL.  As opposed to kicking oneself about the outcome or their past actions.   An example of this would be like a person who applies for a new job. They take the appropriate steps to prepare for the job, they prepare their resume, they wear the correct dress, and they have a good interview. But lo and behold, the hiring manager tells you, you did not get the job.

Immediately the first response is to be let down, and internalize the inability to secure that job as a personal fault. So you begin questioning and doubting yourself when in reality it was something you could not have done any better because you tried your best. A better approach would be to sift through what actions you did before the interview, work on a new approach, and with confidence go for another interview. Instead of looking at it as a failure, change your perception of the situation and consider it another opportunity for you to get better at interviews so by the next interview you’ll do even better and hopefully land the job.

Bearing these important concepts and principles in mind, any person feeling hopeless should confide in the knowledge that indeed all difficulties do come to an end. A useful concept that can be practiced is ACT – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. This theory outlines the fact that the happiest people and most resilient people in the world are those that have ACCEPTED the reality that life carries with it anxieties and difficulties.  They are not surprised by it and have come to accept this reality. Its about acceptance rather then striving for a life of being worry-free. It is about changing our perceptions and expectations about reality. And that the propagation of pessimistic thoughts tend to lead to an even darker mental state that in turn can be a cause of physical detriment to ones self.

Staying positive is essential to combating hopelessness and having certainty that truly Allah is on my side. It is natural for human beings to feel hopeless during difficult times, however we should be cognizant of the reality of hopelessness. One positive approach one can take is to reach out to their social circles for support, such as a group of friends, colleagues, people at your local gym etc. There is no shame in reaching out during trying times, as it is a normal experience for human beings to experience.  It can drain you and sidetrack you from your goals and objectives in life. Making an effort to defer the sense of hopelessness and instead use that moment as a catalyst to boost oneself both spiritually and physically.

Narrative Therapy: My Muslim Identity and My Allegiance

By: Diba Ataie

“Where are you from?” I was repeatedly questioned, while traveling. My response was always challenged; an insinuation that I was lying. The person I was interacting with was usually unsatisfied with my answer and this led me to feel irritated. Once I expressed my frustration the empathy grew and others were able to relate to me.

This question, which we often face, requires more detailed attention as our US identity grows more complex daily. Our Muslim identity is challenged by the media which often hijacks the narrative of our collective community. Thus, we are once again faced with the eternal paradox in psychology, accept all our parts, only then can we truly change.

The first step is reunification with ourselves – we cannot accept that which we do not know. This journey of self-discovery goes far beyond our phenotypic and geographic legacy; it requires a much deeper cross-analysis. We need to appreciate our complexity in order to serve ourselves holistically and to fully appreciate our humanity.

We must also recognize the danger of external labels that are imposed on Muslims because these labels are destroying our ability to connect with one another. Our perspectives of others are socially constructed and only represent pieces of a puzzle that are needed to create the full image of our identity. This impacts how we see others. Every being on this planet is unique in that they have their own soul, mind, and heart.  

These days most of us have to defend our identity at some point. For most, it is not enough that I identify as Muslim-American, but I must prove my allegiance to each end of the hyphen; I am torn between both in a painful tug-of war. Being both Muslim and American seems to be a contradiction to some, but I am a physical manifestation of it. We must all be aware of our underlying perceptions which impact how we see others.

The misrepresentation is, in part, due to the fact that most people only have access to a singular image of Muslims. We must challenge this singular view of Muslims as being dangerous because we are also in danger. This impacts non-Muslims too because they are mistaken as Muslims and stigmatized. In the work I do with youth, I lead them through an activity which asks them to fill in the blanks…”Just because I am Muslim…Does not mean I am…” The counter narratives that emerge allow us to move past binaries and also serve to humanize and represent us in a respectful manner.

How each person identifies is up to only them. In this claim is a freedom that empowers us. It is through learning about all parts of ourselves that we can work towards greater understanding and a more expansive perspective. Who knows next time someone asks us about identity we might challenge their existing ideas by inviting them to hear our own story. Every Muslim has a unique narrative and special relationship with Islam. We may even grow more curious and come to recognize the inherent value of every being.

The Importance of Self Care

By Dr. Sarah Syed

“My kids come first, my family comes first, my job is too busy, I can’t afford it, I don’t have the time.” These are the most common responses heard when someone is recommended to take time for self-care. Many seem to think self-care implies spending money on spa services such as massages or a manicure or an expensive trip somewhere out of town. The truth is that self-care can be anything that helps a person to relax, do something they enjoy, and actually take care of themselves. When we make caring for others a priority over our own health, eventually we inevitably reach a point where we can no longer do well for whatever it is we prioritize.

On an airplane, the safety message reminds you to first put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs. This is an example of self-care. According to clinical psychologist Roberto Olivardia, PhD, self-care is essential for achieving goals such as being present for family, engaging fully and empathically with others and staying healthy. Registered nurse Ingrid Kollack wrote in her 2006 publication, “The Concept of Self-Care,” that self care is considered a “primary form of care for patients with chronic conditions who make many day-to-day decisions, or self-manage, their illness.” Kollack believes self care is a partial solution to the global rise in health care costs placed on governments and is a fundamental pillar of health and social care means it is an essential component of a modern health care system governed by bureaucracy and legislation.

Self-care is individual and personal. It is different for everyone but necessary in order to maintain good health. For some, it may be playing with their kids or spending time with friends. For others it could be exercising, gardening, cooking, or painting. Whatever activity is chosen, it needs to be regular and something that is part of your routine, not earned or used as a reward. For Olivardia, self-care is anything “that affirms and strengthens my physical, psychological, relational, emotional, and spiritual well-being.” Something as simple as coloring can be relaxing and give you time to escape your routine. The growing popularity of adult coloring books and mandalas is testament to the increased awareness about the importance of self care. Along with regular daily prayers and reading the Quran, Dhikr is another excellent form of self-care. We know from the Quran that “verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find ease.” Making time for yourself on a routine basis to spend in quiet meditation or reflection can bring you closer to the Almighty and bring peace to your life.

Ultimately, our bodies have rights over us and our health is a trust, an amanah from our Creator. As Muslims, we know we have a duty to be healthy and not consciously do anything that can hurt ourselves or be detrimental. Not taking time to routinely prioritize your health and well-being causes you to not be able to do your best for yourself or others. Self-care allows you to refuel, essentially to refill your own cup so you can pour from it for others. You can’t pour from an empty cup.